1. If enough of your classmates whine about a test, project, paper, or assignment deadline, the teacher will change it.
2. If enough kids whine about how hard a project is, the teacher will make it easier.
3. If a lot of the kids act like they really enjoy group work, the teacher will let you all do more, including coloring and skits. There’s always some nerd in the group who wants to learn and does a good job, so everyone gets a good grade!
4. A five-page paper, double-spaced, is the most anyone will ever expect of you in life. Plus, you get to whine about it!
5. No matter if the course title is AP or honors, if the teacher is bad, everyone gets a good grade, whether they learn or do anything or not.
6. If you’re in sports, you get excused from a lot of assignments.
7. If your teacher is a coach, there’s a lot of free time in class and very few assignments.
8. Homework? What’s homework? We do that in class instead of getting a full 90 minutes (block schedule) of instruction or learning activities.
9. Ninety minutes of silent reading while the teacher is on the computer is considered a good use of our time at school.
10. We guess you can learn a lot from movies. We sure see plenty of them, including the same ones year after year or stuff we’ve seen at home already.
11. If you’re involved in enough activities and can’t keep up in class, get your parents to complain and the teachers will lower their expectations!
12. If you get a tough teacher who makes you learn and work, you will remember them fondly forever, and, regardless of the class, it will be what you wish for in every other class you ever take.
13. Never complain about not having enough work, hard enough work, or expectations being low because then the teachers will give you a lower grade to “prove” you wrong.
14. If you have to read a book for a class, it will be depressing. If you already don’t read for pleasure, this will help make sure you never do.
15. If you are smart and non-conformist, someone will call your parents to discuss your “problems.”
16. If you hate school – go anyway! Make sure to take classes with coach-teachers to keep your GPA high. They’ll give you a diploma just to get rid of you!
17. If you want to know if you’re prepared for college, refer to your ACT score, not your high school transcript. That’s what colleges do.
18. If you want to know what college work is like, ask a parent or a college student. Don’t count on your teachers or classes to help prepare you for it.
19. Friends are great. Sometimes they’re the only reason to show up.
20. The lunches still suck, but there are fewer pizzaburgers and less mystery meat.