Birdie Bits: Things from the parrot cage last week

<loud wing flapping and clanging of toys> “AAAARGH! I need first aid!”

<grouchy mumbling> “Get your hands off my turtle!”


Spawn: Good morning, birdie!

Hawthorne: Who are you?

Spawn: I’m Spawn, you know me! Who are YOU?

Hawthorne: <smugly> I’m mommy’s little Hawthorne birdie.

Spawn: Well, yes you are!

Hawthorne: Mommy’s CHIRPING birdie. Chirp, chirp. (Note: he says the word “chirp”)

Spawn: I’m a college student.

Hawthorne: <belching noise>

Bunny, from another room: Guess you don’t measure up to a chirping birdie, Spawn! <laughs>

Hawthorne: Wanna waffle?

Spawn: Will it make me a chirping birdie?

Hawthorne: <launches into a 2 or 3 minute spectacular whistling, chirping, singing, clicking aria with great volume and drama>

Spawn: <in awe> Wow, that was good!

Hawthorne: <smugly> CHIRPING birdie!

Spawn: Damn, I suck.

Hawthorne: <laughs hysterically, which causes all of us to laugh until we cry>


And just yesterday, as Spawn, Bunny, Doodle and I were sitting around the dining room table, which is only about 15 feet from Hawthorne’s cage through an open counter area:

Spawn: I really hate my Lit. book; it’s so boring, I mean they tried to set a person on fire, and even that was boring, and <proses on for a while about how boring Jane Eyre is>…

Hawthorne, starting about halfway through Spawn’s twaddle, began saying over and over, in a very bored tone of voice: "Chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp. Chirple, chirp, chirp, chirp, chirple. <belch> Chirpity, chirple, chirp, chirp, chirp…" and so on, all the way to the end of Spawn’s bellyaching. Bunny, Doodle and I started laughing, Spawn started to snort while he was still talking, and finally, we were all laughing like crazy, at which point Spawn quit talking, and Hawthorne quit saying “chirp”.

I wiped my eyes and looked at Spawn. I did a little sea serpent mocking thing with my hand and said, “I think that was the birdie version of ‘blah, blah, blah’!” Which made all of us snort and laugh some more. That brought hubs into the dining room, and by the time we finished explaining it to him, we were all howling with laughter, at which point Hawthorne yelled, “Hey! Quiet down in there!” which made us go off all over again.