MEDICAL ME


The last 4 digits of my phone number are a near match for the
scheduling number at the local hospital. Consequently, I get a lot
of calls from people in need of gastroenteroscopy or stress tests;
sometimes they're old and confused and it's hard to convince them
they've got the wrong number. Some folks want a little sympathy
before they call the real number, and others think I'm a mean, nasty
liar and call me a half a dozen times and hang up for the last 5.
Most of these calls are before noon.

Today, I got caught off guard. Phone rings about 10 minutes before
the kids' bus is due...

Caller: Yeah, you all called me about gettin' one of them
vaserectotomies.

Me: You mean a vasectomy.

Caller: Yeah, that's where you snip...

Me (interrupting): Yes, but you need to call xxx xxxx.

Caller: Yeah, that's what I got here.

Me: No, this is a private residence. The number is xxx xxxx.

Caller: How come you know about vasectotomies?

Me: Got my husband fixed some time ago.

Caller: How'd it go?

Me: Sore for a couple of days, but we pretty much call it the
sports model now.

Caller: Hot damn! What was that number?