News of the highly improbable...

from the archives of my overloaded computer...

Dateline: 2002

(deleted) District # (deleted) officials were stunned this evening
to find themselves outmaneuvered by housewife and mother of three, BoS.

"But, we make buckets of money and are very intimidating," several
of them were heard to cry as they wandered aimlessly through the
halls of the administration building following tonight's suspension
review during an executive session of the BoE. "I think she's
tricky, or maybe she used pixie dust on us or something. This just
isn't right!" said the red-faced, ordinarily terminally pompous
District Superintendent. "We *always* win!"

Her arms loaded down with highlighted copies of school law, case
law, best practices, ACLU information, diagnostic criteria, and
printouts of all kinds, BoS just looked after them blandly. "I did
send them a 21 page letter three months ago, outlining everything I
was prepared to argue tonight," she said mildly. "Maybe they should
have read the letter."

Faced with everything from Black's Law Dictionary definitions to
point-by-point citations to profiling methods of the Secret Service
and FBI, Board members pulled up their socks and agreed to expunge
the suspension from BoS's kid's record. The Board did not contest
the allegations of First Amendment violations, credibility of
evidence challenges, failure to exercise due diligence, failure to
adhere to Sped law, or failure to apply reasonable man standards to
the now-expunged disciplinary action. "We're just crapping in our
pants, worrying about a lawsuit," said one Board member, "I wish
these assholes had told us the whole story to begin with."

BoS expressed no vindictiveness, however. "I learned alot," she
said, "and I'm only out about $42.50, when all's said and done. I
kinda hope they'll let my son start an ACLU club next Fall, though.
Oh, and a chess club would be nice, too."