MY LOUD-MOUTHED IMPRESSION OF E-MAIL LIST TYPES
E-mail lists are like parties, and they conform with fairly
predictable consistency to common types of realspace gatherings.
Here are some of the more frequent types, defined in a wholly biased
manner by yours truly.
The Diva's Tea/Happy Birthday, Bob: Characterized by being
dominated by a "star" whose opinions and biases are not questioned.
This star is usually the moderator and any challenges to his/her
rightness or authority are met with increasing shrillness and
decreasing logic or attention to facts. The star frequently
encourages other members to shun dissenters and has little
respect for netiquette. Only topics that interest the star are
permitted to run on. Like a fart in an elevator, Diva/Bob's brutish
egocentrism is sometimes quite uncomfortable for other list members,
and as a result, lists like this tend to churn through members
pretty quickly. Notable for high turnover, frequent list death,
ham-fisted whimsical moderation, frequent significant changes in
traffic volume, and disgruntled list members looking for somewhere
better to go.
Tupperware and Cookies: Usually comprised of people who consider
themselves to be gentle and open-minded, topics are limited to
things non-controversial. People who try to bring up warmer debates
are carefully taken aside and spoken to. Should they continue to
spark discussions beyond Tupperware, they are promptly ousted to
prevent anyone from taking offense, justified by the NOKD philosophy
(Not Our Kind, Dear). Most of the people on these lists have cats
and buy potpourri. Lots of them are very herbal. They are also
famous backstabbers - discussions regarding ousted non-conformists
can go on for months, and discussions are about as deep as soup on a
dinner plate, and considerably less appetizing. There's lots of
mutual admiration and self-congratulatory posting, and a generally
agreed upon supportiveness for even something as simple as a broken
fingernail. Auras and angels will be seriously discussed regularly.
These lists can have surprising endurance, but limited appeal. Low
to moderate traffic, low to moderate tech skills.
Frat Party Beer Bash: Characterized, not surprisingly, by
sophomoric behavior, limited vocabulary, and lots of "me, too"
posts. Often misidentified as a place where you "can say anything."
Completely incapable of serious or deep discussion on anything other
than fucking and getting smashed, members are either illiterate or
feign it to fit in. Famous for "hi hw R U, im fine. Did U get l8d
last nite?" patter, these lists are death to cogent thought.
Flames are frequent and puerile, and within two flame derivatives,
the words "Nazi" or "fucking idiot" will show up. Membership
follows a wave pattern, with almost total turnover, One die-hard
hardrock wannabe usually moderates, everyone advocates anarchy and
sloth; intellectuals and gentle souls need not apply. Music
discussions can get fantastically heated, elevating to all manner of
nasty behavior and spamming, causing many to leave the list, but
finally, the belligerent parties agree to disagree and go get either
laid or smashed. Tech savvy is talked up but really stagnates at
about moderate to low. Possibly too smashed to think that hard.
Long-lived due to constant influx of new smashees. High traffic
volume alert.
Faculty Cocktails at 6: Much like a gathering of slightly
intoxicated academics, these lists have a wide range of both topics
and tolerance. There is usually a fairly substantial core of
articulate people with varying expertise in a number of areas, and
they share a generalized respect for one another. Lingering grudges
and competitiveness are also present. Some long-term members are
tolerated despite flagrant shortcomings just because they
occasionally say something that sparks further discussion. Quite
literate, lots of humorous chatter, insider jokes, and long-standing
threads that appeal to the core members. Deep discussions run as a
sideline to the majority of posts, discussions are usually
controlled, logical, and of reasonable emotional tenor.
Illiterates, pontificators, and self-appointed spoilers are not
welcome and will be magnificently flamed. Cyberspace old-timers
dominate core membership. Full spectrum tech skills. Enduring
lists, modest but consistent turnover, light moderation or
self-moderating, exits and reappearances due to either ennui or
mind-boggling traffic loads are common, humor , honesty, and the
ability to discuss rationally are highly valued.
Tiny Topic Club Meeting: Mainly a resource and planning list for
hobbyists or special interest groups. Limited, steady membership,
occasional flyby newbies, but a small core of members. Posts are
mainly informational. Extremely restricted topic range. If the
moderator quits, the list will die without much grieving. Very few
posts, no discussions, off-list communications are limited as well.
After School At the Soda Fountain: Totally delusional chick-heavy
gossip forum. Heavy on links to "way kewl" or "nasty bestiality"
sites. Small core membership of people who are usually realspace
friends as well. Disagreements with the core members are not
tolerated, vicious cyberattacks against dissenters are gleefully
undertaken, and high fives are exchanged among core members after
expelling innocent (or not so innocent) trespassers. Usually
short-lived because the alpha grrrl has to go off to college and
think for a while. Also frequently populated by misguided young men
who think this is a cool way to understand chicks, but either wind
up as part of DeeDee's and Muffett's fan club or they get disgusted
and leave. One moderately to highly tech savvy alphageek plus small
admiring herd of sheep. Lots of offlist hissing and backstabbing;
generally low traffic.
Experts' Roundtable Dinner at the Marriott: Often turns into either
The Pontificators' Podium or Earnest Discussions Only.
Characterized by being focused on a profession or sub-category of a
profession. Usually formed with the intent to share information
between geographic zones, popular with special interest lawyers,
computer specialists, niche teaching areas, etc. No creds, don't
tread here. Moderator's commitment determines life of the list,
incomers need to have something substantive to offer, or they should
sit at the feet of the great and listen only. Advice for profit is
mentioned at least once a quarter. Usually have wonderful archives,
short-tempered mods, a lot of membership clearance checkpoints, and
a rigid set of rules. Tech knowledge is either purchased or handled
by a retired professional colleague. Can go either way and be a
fantastic resource or a numbingly boring place where just few
people hold forth on their own greatness disguised by a misleading
subject line and occasional relevant thought. Traffic in direct
ratio to prevalence of profession.
Bad Boys' Bonfire: Unapologetically nasty, flame-spawning piranha
tank of ill temper and sometimes brilliant creative writing. Not
for the new or faint of heart, lots of long-time, cybersavvy
opinionated people with personal agendas predominate on these lists.
Heavy on politics, anti-feminism, and anti-pc rhetoric. All types
of flame warriors abound and prosper, of special note are the highly
effective, never-ending Tag Team Newbie killers. They've had quite
a while to ponder their POVs, so don't be surprised if their
arguments are well-organized and well-thought out, but they will be
couched in deliberately offensive, condescending, razor-edged posts.
Body armor and extra coffee are highly recommended before posting to
one of these lists. Also recommended - endurance. It'll win
respect and recognition on the list, but if you bail early or badly,
you're fishbait forever. About 30% angry intellectuals, 70% clueless
loud morons. 90% male membership. Usually at least one
Jeffersonian absolutist and a rotating group of White Supremacists
are standard. Core members linger, moderators shift, technological
expertise is expected and revered. Very high traffic volume
warning. Lists have been known to die in one medium and re-emerge,
like snarling, hydrophobic phoenixes, in another. Do not undertake
participation unless you are willing to stand, deliver, get cut
down, defend again, and provide reams of researchable backup.
Excellent for honing debate points, finding new POV's, and your own
tolerance boundaries. Completely non-supportive environment - dog
eat dog and laugh about it.
BoS is "Buns O'Strudel", is my alter ego, which developed when a wanker on a reflector listed pitched a hissy over being outed as a ... wanker.
"Rather than continuing to be the same person I've been all my life, I would now like all and sundry (and youse guys here, too) to call me BoS. For those of you who weren't nursed long enough as infants, or who were toilet trained before your Ids were ready for it, BoS is short for "Buns O'Strudel". I am quite sure that this will fully represent my softer side. My bakery side. My femininity in its totality. My German-speaking international perspective. My slight flakiness. My rich, spicy nature... Or at least my wide-assed Midwestern housewife side."
